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[imitating a scottish person] (on Scottish money) I think you'll find pal, that's legal tender.

— Michael McIntyre Live at the Apollo (2007)

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More quotes by Michael McIntyre

I take the shopping in, ladies and gentlemen... in one fucking go. [mimics weighing himself down with shopping] "Get the door! Get the door!" She's like, "Shoes off!"… "FUCK OFF!"

Scottish Guy heckled... "You're a bastard, Michael." … Oh I might not be, but I know that's the first word of a newborn Scottish baby!

All Michael McIntyre quotes →

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Men accept servility in order to acquire wealth; as if they could acquire anything of their own when they cannot even assert that they belong to themselves.

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Opulence is always the result of theft, if not committed by the actual possessor, then by his predecessor.

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Bourgeois society is ruled by equivalence. It makes the dissimilar comparable by reducing it to abstract quantities. To the Enlightenment, that which does not reduce to numbers, and ultimately to the one, becomes illusion.

Max Horkheimer Dialektik der Aufklärung [Dialectic of Enlightenment (1944)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Michael McIntyre (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.