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For the record if someone did that to me I'd hitch a ride to the International Space Station straight away; of course who am I kidding, they would never let me in, I've got spiders for hands! The internet is mean!

— John Oliver Last Week Tonight (2014)

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Technology

More quotes by John Oliver

Congratulations, Dave, you've just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.

Last Week Tonight (2014)

When children from other countries are telling us that we've made them fear the sky, it might be time to ask some hard questions.

I'm not saying college is the right choice for everyone -- but it should be a choice.

Last Week Tonight (2014)

You have just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.

Thanks very much for taking this magical moment and reminding me that joy is ephemeral, pain is forever.

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We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living.

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Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking about them.

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The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.

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If technical progress is not matched by corresponding progress in man's ethical formation, in man's inner growth, then it is not progress at all, but a threat for man and for the world.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: John Oliver (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.