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[Footnote] He [Alexander] was often extremely brutal to his captives, whom he sold into slavery, tortured to death, or forced to learn Greek.

— Will Cuppy The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

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Slavery

More quotes by Will Cuppy

I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.

The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.

How to Attract the Wombat (1949)

The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.

How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.

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What constitutes the bulwark of our own liberty and independence?

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The worker is the slave of capitalist society, the female worker is the slave of that slave.

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The Autocrat of all the Russias will resign his crown, and proclaim his subjects free republicans sooner than will our American masters voluntarily give up their slaves.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Will Cuppy (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.