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When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
My pulse will be quickenin',
With each drop of strych-a-nine,
We feed to a pigeon
it just takes a smidgen
To poison a pigeon in the park.

— Tom Lehrer An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

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More quotes by Tom Lehrer

Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media.

Irreverence is easy — what's hard is wit.

I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

Last December 13th, there appeared in the newspapers the juiciest, spiciest, raciest obituary it has ever been my pleasure to read.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

It's people like that who make you realize how little you've accomplished. It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

All Tom Lehrer quotes →

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Tom Lehrer (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.