51 quotes
Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media.
Irreverence is easy — what's hard is wit.
I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
Last December 13th, there appeared in the newspapers the juiciest, spiciest, raciest obituary it has ever been my pleasure to read.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
It's people like that who make you realize how little you've accomplished. It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
I'd like to take you now, on wings of song as it were, and try and help you forget for a while your drab, wretched lives.
An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)
I feel that if any songs are gonna come out of World War III, we'd better start writing them now.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.
Songs by Tom Lehrer (1953)
Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand,
You can tolerate him if you try!
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
But don't panic. Base eight is just like base ten really — if you're missing two fingers.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
No one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has "The Truth". To be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But then again, I can get pretty arrogant.
It's only for a week so have no fear!
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
And that is the story of Alma,
Who knew how to receive and to give.
The body that reached her embalma'
Was one that had known how to live.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
It's American as apple pie.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another, and I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human beings — and I hate people like that!
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared. Be prepared!
Songs by Tom Lehrer (1953)
All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.
An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)
Oh, soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife. Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life. Oooh.
An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)
The loveliest girl in Vienna
Was Alma, the smartest as well.
Once you picked her up on your antenna,
You'd never be free of her spell.
That Was the Year That Was (1965)