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With the way the world’s going a nuclear Iran is going to be the least of our problems in 10 or 15 years. Iranian nukes will be a break from swimming through our climate-change flooded cities fighting ebola zombies with our teeth because we can’t hold guns thanks to our iPhone-shaped hand tumors.

— Jon Stewart

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Future

More quotes by Jon Stewart

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

If comedy is tragedy plus time, I need more fucking time. But I would really settle for less fucking tragedy.

The Daily Show (1999)

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.

The American people. For their just utter patience.

The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.

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A generation which ignores history has no past —and no future.

Robert A. Heinlein Time Enough for Love (1973)

From now on, everything in life will appear blurry to me. What’s the point of wiping my glasses when my vision has already left me?"

Sanu Sharma

You can never plan the future by the past.

Edmund Burke A Letter to a Member of the National Assembly (1791)

If we don’t care about our past we can’t have very much hope for our future.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Jon Stewart (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.