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I hate dates. I sit at home all day, and I don't fart once. I go on a date and I've got twenty in the bank straight away.

— Carl Barron Carl Barron Live (2003)

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More quotes by Carl Barron

Do you do those secret farts at the supermarket. Quickly piss off to another aisle.

Carl Barron Live (2003)

Have you ever done those Coca-Cola burps that come out of your nose and eyeballs? You think a burp looks bad! Someone's just thinking "Shit what's wrong with his head."

Carl Barron Live (2003)

My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts.

Carl Barron Live (2003)

You know those people who let their yawn out and they keep talkin'. "Yeah Tuesday would be pretty good (continues talking while yawning)" "Yeah no worries."

Carl Barron Live (2003)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Carl Barron (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.