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Other countries may boast of this and that, but nobody can touch the United States for poisonous snakes. We have about twenty species, most of them deadly, and Europe has only five or six, none of them much good. We have fifteen kinds of Rattlesnakes alone and nobody else has even one. [Footnote: There is a species in Central and South America, but it probably came from here.]

— Will Cuppy How to Become Extinct (1941)

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More quotes by Will Cuppy

I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart.

The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.

How to Attract the Wombat (1949)

The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.

How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Will Cuppy (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.