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Our nation has eight million jobs in clean energy!
Can we double it, guys, before the sea levels rise
And I'm roommates with a manatee?

— "Weird Al" Yankovic

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More quotes by "Weird Al" Yankovic

If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media.
I edit Wikipedia.

What kind of bananas do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: "Weird Al" Yankovic (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.