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This woke thing is awful. Have you ever been woked? You put a hand on somebody's shoulder and you're assaulting them. In the old days if someone was awful to you you'd tell them to eff off and that would be that. Still, I had some horrors in my time.

— Jilly Cooper

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More quotes by Jilly Cooper

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

[In her novel, Score, a male character is murdered while sexually aroused.] I rang Stroud police to ask whether the male member stays up at the point of death. They told me it definitely does.

I'm quite depressed about sex at the moment [...] I don't think people are having nearly so much fun. And everywhere you go, people are marrying their own sex, aren't they?

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Jilly Cooper (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.