The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: P. J. O'Rourke (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.