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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York. "What're y'all doin'? Talkin' to TV producers, huh? Bummer. Me? I'm readin' a book! Yeah, we're thinkin' back East! Yeah, we're evolving. Is that "The Big One" I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum, bye!

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More quotes by Bill Hicks

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

It's all about money, not freedom, y'all, okay? Nothing to do with fuckin' freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without fucking money, okay?

American: The Bill Hicks Story (2009)

I loved when Bush came out and said, "We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

Just for Laughs Comedy Festival (1990)

By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing...kill yourself...you're the ruiner of all things good...you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage...kill yourself.

The idea of getting a, you know, syringe full of heroin and shooting it in the vein under my cock right now seems like almost a productive act.

I'm Sorry Folks (1989)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Bill Hicks (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.