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Marriage was the best business deal I ever made. After that, Jesus of Nazareth and The Muppets.

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The confusion of marriage with morality has done more to destroy the conscience of the human race than any other single error.

George Bernard Shaw Man and Superman (1903)

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Oscar Wilde A Woman of No Importance (1893)

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.

Samuel Johnson

The best way to worship God is to love your wife.

Victor Hugo Les Misérables (1862)

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Lew Grade (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.