Skip to content

Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit.

— Stephen Colbert White House Correspondents' Association Dinner (2006)

Another quote →

More quotes by Stephen Colbert

I think of him as well intentioned, poorly informed, high status idiot.

If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore — and you actually have power over those people.

I have tender feelings for Nixon, because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood.

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.

All Stephen Colbert quotes →

Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Stephen Colbert (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.