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You have to eat before you drink! If you remember nothing else I've said tonight, remember to eat before you drink!

— Paul F. Tompkins Driven to Drink (1998)

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More quotes by Paul F. Tompkins

In the line of work that I'm in, every day is Saint Patrick's Day. So I might decide, any old three o'clock in the afternoon, it's Saint Patrick's Day today!

Freak Wharf (2009)

This [the Chick-fil-A same-sex marriage controversy] is the perfect American conundrum because it's like: “Ah, you know, we should be moving forward as a country, but also— I want to eat just so much trash, like a garbage monster, as much as I can.”

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Paul F. Tompkins (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.