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Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

— Dave Attell

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More quotes by Dave Attell

I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.

Every man wonders about the size of their penis. Laying in bed alone at night, or in a hammock with a parrot. You start thinking, “Do I have a small penis or just gigantic balls?”

Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man.

The sun comes up and so does your dick. 'Cause at heart your dick’s a farmer!

If you see a man running down the street cock-flapping, you run with that man. 'Cause there is some scary shit coming the other way.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dave Attell (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.