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I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform anywhere, anytime. My parents were wonderful when I told them I wanted to be an entertainer.

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More quotes by Ken Dodd

Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them.

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.

Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble!

Politicians are like nappies, they should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

I think it would a good idea now if all the ugly ones came and sat down near the front! You have! Good!

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Ken Dodd (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.