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You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't. Trust me, I was there. I know.

— Christopher Moore Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal (2002)

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Source and credibility

Wikiquote does not flag this quote as disputed or misattributed.

Source: Biff, in Ch. 1
Work: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, 2002
Source quality: Precise citation Points to a specific work with a page, chapter, date or similar locator, so you can look it up.

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Oh to be young and in love (with 8 Chinese concubines).

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When the oil of the lamp is used up the wanker shall light his own way to salvation.

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Fornication with your daughters thats like a double dog sin.

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Your mother eats fungus from the feet of lepers.

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I fink I gots deaf on me willie.

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She's a bloody vision of loveliness.

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Great heroes have Great horniness.

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Sin is moist make a mental note.

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The Science you don't know looks like magic.

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Moses should have said "Let my people go. Please."

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And once I shagged Regan on a platter of pork in front of Muslims.

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Fancy a spot of stony bonking before vespers?

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And so that is the story of how St. Rufus of Pipewrench was licked to death by marmots.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Christopher Moore (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.