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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.

— David Cross

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More quotes by David Cross

If the terrorists hated freedom, the Netherlands would be fucking dust.

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

If someone gives you a kazoo and toots around the house to MTV, they're not gonna fuck you.

If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

Not funny, not funny says she, didn't like it!

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: David Cross (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.