David Cross Quotes
born 1964 United States
David Cross (born April 4, 1964) is an American stand-up comedian and actor.
- United States
- Actors
- Comedians
- Satirists
- Screenwriters
Also known as: Cross, David
Random David Cross quote
12 quotes
If the terrorists hated freedom, the Netherlands would be fucking dust.
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
If someone gives you a kazoo and toots around the house to MTV, they're not gonna fuck you.
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
Not funny, not funny says she, didn't like it!
It's hip to be square. Remember that shitty song by that shitty band 20 motherfuckin' years ago?
I don't remember ordering the Christian sandwich...
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
Rickey Henderson, pick up the phone, man, it's me... you.
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know...
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.