82 quotes
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
A man that don't love a Horse, there is something the matter with him. If he has no sympathy for the man that does love Horses, then there is something worse the matter with him.
The Illiterate Digest (1924)
We are the first nation to starve to death in a storehouse that's overfilled with everything we want.
You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.
This would be a great time in the world for some man to come along that knew something.
Humanity is not yet ready for either real truth or real harmony.
When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with."
I am not a member of any organized party — I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers, Ambassador of Good Will, Prince of Wit and Wisdom (1935)
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.
We all can't be heroes, for someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
The Complete Speaker's Index to Selected Stories for Every Occasion (1967)
This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to pay the fiddler.
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
Wit (2003)
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Papers say: "Congress is deadlocked and can't act." I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.
The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich.