Will Cuppy Quotes

d. 1949 United States

William Jacob "Will" Cuppy (August 23, 1884 – September 19, 1949) was an American humorist and literary critic, known for his satirical books about nature and historical figures.

United States
Satirists

Also known as: Cuppy, Will

Random Will Cuppy quote

79 quotes

Louis XIV. Other kings let their ministers make their mistakes for them, but Louis insisted on making the important mistakes personally.

He [Khufu] had discovered the fact that if you tell somebody to do something, nine times out of ten he will do it.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

How to Get from January to December (1951)

[Footnote:] The Chameleon's face reminded Aristotle of a Baboon. Aristotle wasn't much of a looker himself.

How to Become Extinct (1941)

Montezuma. He had the courage of his convictions, but he had no convictions.

Sartor Resartus is simply unreadable, and for me that always sort of spoils a book.

How to Get from January to December (1951)

Her early years were very unhappy, and she decided she would have a good time if she ever got a chance. Later on, she overdid it a little.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

How to Be a Hermit (1929)

[Footnote:] Much still remains to be learned about his sex life because the Hummingbird is quicker than the eye.

How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes (1931)

They [the Pilgrim Fathers] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Thutmose III was thus one of the earliest exponents of internationalism, or going into other countries and slaughtering the inhabitants.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

If the Pilgrims were looking for freedom of conscience, they came to just the right place. In America, everybody's conscience is unusually free.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Charlemagne lived away back in the Dark Ages when people were not very bright. They have been getting brighter and brighter ever since, until finally they are like they are now.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Taking elephants across the Alps is not as much fun as it sounds. The Alps are difficult enough when alone, and elephants are peculiarly fitted for not crossing them.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Thutmose III was...one of the earliest exponents of internationalism, or going into other countries and slaughtering the inhabitants.

The Hog-Nosed Snake. Most people erroneously call this snake the Puff Adder, Beach Adder, or Blowing Viper. So, naturally, they kill it.

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honor.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Although this structure [the Great Pyramid of Giza] failed as a tomb, it is one of the wonders of the world even today because it is the largest thing ever built for the wrong reason.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

[Footnote:] A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.

How to Become Extinct (1941)

Philip [II of Spain] was a great believer in diplomacy, or the art of lying. He fooled some of the people some of the time.

The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody (1950)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Will Cuppy (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.