495 quotes
“Visitation” reflects the era of the absentee father; “parent time” influences the re-emergence of the involved father. “Visitation” reflects the destruction of the family; “parent time” influences the reconstruction of the family. “Parent time” influences an era that understands that as either parents loses, so lose the children.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
Our love for children is so immediate in part because we feel their powerlessness immediately; conversely, part of the way we deny our love for men is by denying men’s powerlessness. Too often we have confused love for men with respect for them, especially for their power to take care of us---which is really just love for ourselves.
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988)
Perhaps the biggest appreciation adjustment we need is toward the millions of men and women we call stepparents. We have taken for granted especially the stepparents who are raising no children of their own, and receiving no income from a significant other, but who have nevertheless chosen to invest love, time and money in children.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
The best-selling magazines to men are Playboy and Penthouse. These represent men’s primary fantasy: access to as many beautiful women as desired without risk of rejection. The best-selling magazines to women are Better Homes and Gardens and Family Circle, representing the female primary fantasy: better homes and gardens and a family circle.
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988)
In the case of a man and a woman [accused of commiting a crime together], both will often agree to the man taking the rap—despite the man being more likely to receive a longer sentence and more likely to be raped in prison. If blacks were agreeing to do that for whites, the black community would be smart enough to call that ‘learned subservience.’
The Myth of Male Power (1993)
The one-sided funding creates one-sided images that reinforce the press defining as progress an examination of only women’s issues. Thus, a quarter century’s-worth of studies showing domestic violence against men to be more than equal to domestic violence against women receive so little publicity as to barely make a dent on the public’s consciousness.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
Part of what a good dad can do, then, is to make sure that his daughter also gets involved with team sports, and to help her with the lessons in life that are innate to any team empowering itself. –page119.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
As feminism made this transition from equal opportunity to unequal opportunism, I made my transition from supporter to critic. But in my inner psyche, there was no transition: I went from supporter of equality to supporter of equality.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
The emphasis of the men’s group was on understanding, coping, changing the situation and then, if all else failed, getting out; the emphasis of battered women’s groups is on getting out first, and second, locking up the problem (the man).
Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)
Programs like TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, formerly known as AFDC) and WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) subsidize the exclusion of dads. In effect, they create, as we have seen, future welfare recipients. Or tax spenders.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
Men tend to put all their emotional eggs in the basket of their wives (or womenfriends), it is difficult for a man to communicate feelings of disappointment to his wife because, if she withdraws, it feels to him like his entire emotional support system has collapsed.
Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)
What Men Would Say When Male-Bashing Is Called “Funny,” But Female-Bashing Is Called “Sexist”
Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)
In the past we believed both sexes were born with original sin. Today, we have come to unconsciously believe in the original sin of boys, but the original innocence of girls. – page 103.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988)
When a woman appears to express fear, we cannot assure her without at least releasing her from responsibility; when we interpret the same emotion in a man as anger, we want to blame him and be certain he acknowledges responsibility. We want to find her guiltless; we want to find him guilty.
Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)
The 'enduring theme' [in fiction] of male competition and female competition for the hero/survivor has taken us from the fittest surviving to the brink of no one surviving. Sex roles have gone from functional to dysfunctional almost overnight. This is why the enduring theme must be questioned now.
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988)
While boys who are motivated can become many of society’s most constructive forces—becoming inventors and implementers of what they invent (the Amazons, Apples, Facebooks, Microsofts, and Googles)—boys whose energies are poorly channeled can become society’s most destructive forces—our serial killers and prisoners.
The Boy Crisis (2018)
We often hear that mothers do the caring; fathers just do the playing. This is a false dichotomy -- even a dangerous one -- because fathers’ particular style of play involves both a conscious focus on teaching and, as the research is now showing, is instructive to children even when it is not consciously designed to be so.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)
Most women’s ideal is to not be sexual until nine conditions are met: physical attraction; respect; emotional compatibility; intelligence; singleness; success (or potential ); being asked out; being paid for; and the man risking rejection by initiating the first kiss…. Men want sex as long as only one condition is met—physical attraction.
Why Men Are the Way They Are (1988)
If we penalize mothers for denial of “visitation time” we must also penalize fathers who don’t show up for “visitation time.” The issue is not fathers’ rights to visitation time, but both parents obligations to their children. The issue is how to make both parents real parents despite what parenting was never designed to deal with -- divorce.
Father and Child Reunion (2001)