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Tom Lehrer Quotes

1928–2025 United States

Thomas Andrew Lehrer (April 9, 1928 – July 26, 2025) was an American singer-songwriter, satirist, pianist, and mathematician.

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Random Tom Lehrer quote

51 quotes

There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex,
You may have heard about his odd complex.
His name appears in Freud's index
'Cause he loved his mother.

An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

We will all go together when we go
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo
When the air becomes uraneous
We will all go simultaneous
Oh, we all will go together when we go.

An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

"Life is like a sewer — what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha.

An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I'm for it.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks,
And the black folks hate the white folks;
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

Don't say that he's hypocritical,
Say rather that he's apolitical.
"Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?
That's not my department," says Wernher von Braun.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

You know, of all the songs I have ever sung, that is the one I've had the most requests not to.

Songs by Tom Lehrer (1953)

As long as you're billed as a comedian, I guess you can say anything.

Insider Audio interview (1997)

His rivals used to say quite a bit
That as a monarch he was most unfit.
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother.

An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit.

Sydney Morning Herald interview (2003)

Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
And everybody hates the Jews.

That Was the Year That Was (1965)

I find enough mystery in mathematics to satisfy my spiritual needs. I think, for example, that pi is mysterious enough (don't get me started!) without having to worry about God. Or if pi isn't enough, how about fractals? or quantum mechanics?

Take your cigarette from its holder,
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine,
And swear that you're mine,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

I would like to state at this time that I am not now and have never been... a member of the Boy Scouts of America. Their motto is, as you know, "Be Prepared!" and that is the name of this song.

Songs by Tom Lehrer (1953)

I really don't consider myself a performer by temperament.

Insider Audio interview (1997)

Yes, he loved his mother like no other,
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.
One thing on which you can depend is,
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is.

An Evening (Wasted) With Tom Lehrer (1959)

I don't understand poetry. We studied it in high school and college, but they never told us why it was good.

Insider Audio interview (1997)

I think the people who say we need satire often mean, "We need satire of them, not of us."

AV Club interview (2000)

The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines.

Sydney Morning Herald interview (2003)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Tom Lehrer (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.