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Sarah Silverman Quotes
born 1970 United States
Sarah Kate Silverman (born 1 December 1970) is an American comedian, actress, and writer. Her comedy addresses social taboos and controversial topics, including racism, sexism, homophobia, politics, and religion, sometimes having her comic character endorse them in a satirical or deadpan fashion.
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29 quotes
I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love. Jesus' words have become so perverted over time — it's been like a game of telephone. If he existed, Jesus would fuckin' kill himself.
I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?
The Sarah Silverman Program (2007)
This song brings me back … I was brutally raped to this song.
I've sued my manager for sexual harassment. And it's real hard, and a big strain on me. Because he hasn't done anything.
Jesus Is Magic (2005)
The writers of Sanford and Son were so brave in bringing their program to television. I mean, working with all those black people!
Jesus Is Magic (2005)
I got jury duty … and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't?
A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God – I'm turning into my mother!"
Jesus Is Magic (2005)
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
The Sarah Silverman Program (2007)
I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes, because – I'm Jewish, but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesn't burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions.
Jesus Is Magic (2005)
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