Richard Jeni Quotes
1957–2007 United States
Richard John Colangelo (April 14, 1957 – March 10, 2007), known by his stage name Richard Jeni, was an American actor and comedian.
- United States
- Actors
- Comedians
- Stand-up comedians
Random Richard Jeni quote
10 quotes
An adult male human that attempts to mate frequently but spends most of its time alone.
This is the guy I'll be thinking about when I put a gun to My head.
The title of this movie should be "Here's a Fish. You're Stupid."
Porno is just like any other drug; after a while you start building up a tolerance to it.
I don't get that -- people going to war over religion. I don't know, I could see going to war over justice or democracy or even revenge. But if you're going to war over religion, now you're just killing people in an argument over who has the better imaginary friend.
Comedy Central Presents (2002)
If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.
There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.
They should just call it The Bad News. The bloodiest, most disgusting things that happened today packed into a half an hour, right before you go to bed. You thought you were scared before...
A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gasing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites. People whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.
A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites. These are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.