27 quotes
See, I thought that Jay has had too many high class, very hoity-toity guests on this week. And I wanted to bring everything down a notch or two.
It doesn't matter who you love, it's that you love. Who cares if men marry men or women marry women? In San Francisco you don't care, and I applaud that. And I applaud Mayor Newsom for being so brave.
"He's kicking such major ass that it's insane!"
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I like to take chances, and that's the key to comedy -- dancing like an idiot but doing it with wild abandon.
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You don't need someone else's approval to do what you want; just figure it out and do it, damn it!
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My off-white poodle. She doesn't consider herself to be gay, but I have my hunch.
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I like looser clothes, which always prompts my mom to say something classic like, 'You have such a darling figure - show it off more!'
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I've been going to the same grocery store for 13 years, and all of a sudden one day everybody was like, 'Oh, my God...'
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I'm really good at staying home all day in my pajamas because I had a [dad] who did that.
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I am terrified of mayonnaise. It was so bad when I was little that my friends would chase me around the house with a jar of mayonnaise and a knife.
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I couldn't pronounce my last name until I was, like, 11.
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If I weren't an actress playing a socialite, I'd have lavender hair, wear crappy vintage clothes and have tattoos. I'd be some kind of crazy lawless rebel - an alternative underground riot girl.
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I should have my 'girl citizenship' revoked. I never get facials. I never get my nails done. I'm so busy.
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One tabloid had an article about how I was an irresistible sex- and man-magnet and how men flock to me. Of course, they were absolutely correct...
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I'm going to climb up this ladder, you understand, to this gate that's like this high and I'm going to pass two dogs and some bags and myself over the thing into a cab driver's arms. THAT's my plan!
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A lot of people come up to me and say, 'Oh God, I'm just like Karen, that's what they [tell me] at the office'. I'm like, 'You know what? The people in your office may not be giving you a compliment. You may be getting fired soon.'
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I said, `Now, wait a minute, so you're telling me you want this fish who lives in a fish tank in a dentist's office to be a fictitious character from an NBC sitcom?' I mean, it just doesn't make any sense to me. It's like, why would you want Mickey Mouse to be the lead in the `House of the Seven Gables' or something.
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I consider myself bisexual, and my philosophy is, everyone innately is, although I've never had a full-on relationship with a woman, just a couple of what I'd term half-assed dalliances. So I haven't explored it to the degree that I'd like to, but I'll tell you, I'm open to it. And I don't have any problem saying that.
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It is no big deal to me. I have always been attracted to women, and I went on dates with women if they asked me.... It did not seem that different to me. But then I met my [husband], and now he is the apple of my eye.
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Two days ago, I dreamt I married a 5-year-old boy. He treated me like a queen and was perfectly lovely. We took a driving trip for our honeymoon. Then it dawned on me: 'Oh my God! He doesn't have a driver's license! We could get arrested!'"
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