8 quotes
There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh air and fun.
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
They didn't think much to the Ocean,
The waves, they was fiddlin' and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
A grand little lad was young Albert,
All dressed in his best; quite a swell.
With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle,
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
Then giving young Albert a shilling,
He said "Pop off back to the Zoo.
'Ere's your stick with the 'orses's 'ead 'andle,
Go and see what the Tigers can do!"
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
"Y' not charging tuppence for that little lad?"
Said Mother, her eyes flashing wild.
"Per tuppence per person per trip," answered Ted,
"Per woman, per man, or per child."
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence,
And didn't know what to do next,
Said "Mother! Yon Lion's 'et Albert,"
And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!"
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
At that Mother got proper blazing,
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she.
"What, waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!"
Albert, 'Arold and Others (1938)
"Sam Small", lines 17, 25, 33, 45 and 47
Misattributed