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Lennie Lower Quotes
1903–1947 Australia
Leonard "Lennie" Waldemere Lower (24 September 1903 – 19 July 1947) was an Australian humourist who is still considered by many to be the comic genius of Australian journalism. Lower's drinking was "legendary", hence the titles of his two best-known books: "Here's luck!" is a well-known Australian drinking toast, as is "Here's another!"
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26 quotes
A gentleman should not talk to a lady with his hands in his pockets-unless she's his wife, in which case it's unavoidable.
As the old adage says, "There is many a true word spoken in chess."
All his life he had desired to have a little place to himself: now he's got it.
The careful hostess will see that the jam is tastefully displayed. A little crepe paper around the tins will easily fix this.
Blood is thicker than water. But then, so is soup.
Australia is now a nation. We are entitled to call ourselves a nation because we owe several billion pounds abroad and are among the highest taxed people in the world.
He wanted to be a water diviner, but I could think of a lot of things diviner than water ...
Last time the wife was sick I did all the housework. It's child's play once you get used to it. The difficulty, however, is in getting used to it.
People frequently ask me where I get all my culture and information from. If you met me and had converse with me for a few minutes you would probably ponder the same question.
A whale's best friend is its blubber.
Have you ever noticed how, in all books, people coming into a room always gently close the door behind them? I suppose the reason for this is that if they closed the door in front of themselves they'd still be outside.
To be a working journalist one needs tact, aplomb, a wide general knowledge, an inventive mind, a faculty for quick action, a nose for news, an ear for scandal, and a mouth for drinking purposes. Also a pencil and some paper. The last three items are absolutely essential.
But we were speaking of dentists, I think. I shall have to tread softly here. I am at present having some teeth filled. A boring business.
I forgot to mention that where the guest of honour is a man, he should take the hostess's arm when entering the dining- room. If the hostess is very far gone, another gentleman may hold the other arm, a third gentleman going in front with the legs.
For your next bath try a can of tomato soup. It gives you that schoolgirl complexion all over. You wouldn't know what a schoolgirl's complexion looks like all over, perhaps, but you can take my word for it.
When eating fruit, such as watermelon, the seeds should be removed from the mouth with the hand and placed in the pocket or handbag. At important functions it is best to swallow them, as it saves mucking about.
I diet very strenuously myself. First my breakfast, then diet; lunch followed by a fairly light diet in order to prepare for afternoon tea, which should be followed by a fair amount of dieting until dinner time. If the system can stand it, one should fast from then until supper.
... Why don't you put this beer out in the sun to get cool? If it was any flatter you'd have to serve it on a plate.
... geography is so unsettled lately. You've got to wait for the late final extra edition of the evening paper to find out if places are still on the map.
Nowadays it is hardly necessary to ask permission of a lady to smoke, unless it's opium; but be careful, if you do ask, not to use the phrase, "May I smoke?" You are simply asking for the correct answer, which is, "I don't care if you burn."
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