23 quotes
Only damaged people want good things to happen to them through visualization. They want something for nothing.
JPod (2006)
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
JPod (2006)
Hip flasks are the juice machines of the alcohol world — everyone has one and it never gets used.
JPod (2006)
“To be merely good enough is to never succeed.”
JPod (2006)
Chances are you feel superior to almost everyone you work with — however, they probably feel the same way about you.
JPod (2006)
Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?
JPod (2006)
Nobody has ever been happy in a job they obtained by first handing in a resumé.
JPod (2006)
Don’t you get an empty feeling in your soul when you have a blank to-do list?
JPod (2006)
If you can control your emotions, chances are you don’t have too many.
JPod (2006)
It can be really fun to go down with the ship.
JPod (2006)
"Let's go out and buy a statistically average meal from a large multinational restaurant chain. That usually fixes about seventy-five percent of life's problems."
JPod (2006)
As he ages and sees more of the world, he’s realizing that bad news is a part of life, and that when you have to give it, just say it and get it over with.
JPod (2006)
The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I’m kidding. But killing helps.
JPod (2006)
“What do lesbians have against capitalized letters?”
“Capitalization implies a hierarchy, that some letters are more special than others.”
JPod (2006)
"Ethan, there has to be more to my life than this."
"Why can't you just be happy as a shallow cartoon glyph of a human like everybody else here?"
JPod (2006)
“I wish my parents took good care of their grow-op.”
JPod (2006)
If you’re an incredibly famous rich person who does more in one day than I do in a month, does your perception of time’s passing go slower or faster than it does for me?
JPod (2006)
“A girl can’t control who will and who won’t fall in love with her, Ethan. And sometimes, when a nuisance person falls in love with you, it can be awfully… awkward.”
JPod (2006)
People who advocate simplicity have money in the bank; the money came first, not the simplicity. (from inside the cover)
JPod (2006)
"You're never too old to dance, Dad...and you're never too old to dream."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. Were you saying that with irony or for real?"
JPod (2006)