Dane Cook Quotes

born 1972 United States

Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972, in Cambridge, Massachusetts) is an American observational stand-up comedian with dark humor, comedic violence, and excitable, high-energy stage presence.

United States
Actors
Comedians
Stand-up comedians

Random Dane Cook quote

4 quotes

I invite her back to my apartment, or as I call it, the "Death Star." I'm still working on it, it's not completely operational.

Tourgasm (2006)

"Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doin' 80?!"

Harmful If Swallowed (2003)

I was being chased by a giant crab. [Audience laughs] That's not funny.

Harmful If Swallowed (2003)

Who doesn't like movies? Who has ever said, "Hey, you wanna go see a movie?" "Fuck that and fuck your movies! It’s ridiculous, the whole idea of it! It’s just wrong and fake and NO!"

Vicious Circle (2006)

Attribution

Quotes and notes from Wikiquote: Dane Cook (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0.