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Brother Theodore Quotes
1906–2001 Germany
Theodore Isidore Gottlieb (November 11, 1906 – April 5, 2001), known as Brother Theodore, was a German-born American actor and comedian known for rambling, stream-of-consciousness monologues which he called "stand-up tragedy". He was a man described as "Boris Karloff, surrealist Salvador Dalí, Nijinsky and Red Skelton…simultaneously".
Random Brother Theodore quote
13 quotes
I find it hard to sit still in one spot, and impossible to sit still in two spots.
Years and years of marriage prepared me for years and years of divorce.
I am squirming with delight to meet an intellectual colossus.
If only the Earth would open and swallow you up.
Ladies and gentlemen, I resent this applause.
As long as there is death, there is hope. The only thing that keeps me alive is the hope of dying young.
I am what you might call a controversial figure: people either hate me or despise me.
I never answer my telephone unless it rings.
Lately, I've become quite involved in psychic vibrations. I vibrate whenever I get the chance.
My mumsie and my popsie both died years before I was born, and my sister and my uncle were identical twins, which is probably more than you can say for yourself.
All our great spiritual leaders are dead. Moses is dead, Muhammad is dead, Buddha is dead, the Reverend Jim Jones is dead, and I'm not feeling so hot myself!
I have gazed into the abyss, and the abyss has gazed into me. And neither of us liked what we saw.
My name, as you may have guessed, is Theodore. I come from a strange stock. The members of my family were mostly epileptics, vegetarians, stutterers, triplets, nailbiters. But we've always been happy.
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