18 quotes
I'm always amazed when I go to do stand-up dates and the ad in the paper says, "For Mature Audiences Only." Nothing could be more immature than my stand-up.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
The Internet has opened the door wide to the world of haters.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
In my career I've had the fortune of being able to work continually in radically diverse creative worlds.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
A moment of synchronicity like that tells me that everything is where it's supposed to be.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
People ask me what my favorite episode of Full House is; it was the last one!
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
I get vaccinated five to six times a day and I feel great!!
I see a lot more lovers than haters.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
What I wanted to share were my feelings about how humor gets you through this life and through all the dark times. For me, it's occasionally irreverent and immature humor. But funny is funny.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
Kids, do not f*ck that sh*t; you'll get an infection.
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
I am very proud of the life I have led so far. I have a lot of love in my life. And a lot of laughs. And I wish that for you all.
I wish that even for the guy in the audience with his arms folded.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
I just don't need to do negative anymore.
When you perform live, eventually you're going to make direct eye contact with that one guy in the audience with his arms folded staring back at you.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
I don't call her my middle child, I call her my center child, Because the world revolves around her.
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
If you laugh at that, you lower the bar, and I will limbo under it because I am a f*cked-up guy!
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: "Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't f*ck that sh*t. Stay in school. And read!"
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
As a kid I often heard from my mom, as well as from the teachers in every school I attended, that I needed to behave myself and watch how I spoke. Apparently I was a mischievous little bastard.
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian (2014)
I've banged half the girls in this room, and that is f**kin' not true. I haven't banged anyone here. I've put my pinky in your butts, couple of you.
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)
Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--" and, cut! "Cock sh*t f**k!"
Bob Saget : That Ain't Right (2007)