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The Farmer will never be happy again;
He carries his heart in his boots;
For either the rain is destroying his grain
Or the drought is destroying his roots.

— A. P. Herbert

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More quotes by A. P. Herbert

The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.

Uncommon Law (1935)

For I must write to The Times tonight, and save the world from sin.

How proud upon your quarterdeck you stand,
Conductor, Captain of the mighty bus!
Like some Columbus you survey the Strand,
A calm newcomer in a sea of fuss.

Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.

Uncommon Law (1935)

The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity
Are constructed with considerable care.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: A. P. Herbert (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.