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I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks.

— Paul Rudnick I Shudder (2009)

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More quotes by Paul Rudnick

1. If I should remain in a persistent vegetative state for more than fifteen years, I would like someone to turn off the TV.

There was a cable-TV program that documented how Peeps are made, and it showed unlimited hordes of Peeps bouncing merrily down a conveyor belt, right toward the camera. I came.

I Shudder (2009)

And so I continue in borderline poverty, save for my one indulgence, no, my single absolute necessity: I take cabs. Yes, on occasion, when I wish to see what people with unpleasant skin conditions are wearing, I do take the subway. I have never, I am proud to say, taken the bus, because people who take the bus have given up.

I Shudder (2009)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Paul Rudnick (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.