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Anyone offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard.

— Dave Allen The Mammoth Book of Irish Humor (2013)

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More quotes by Dave Allen

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things.

I still think of myself as I was 25 years ago. Then I look in a mirror and see an old bastard and realise it's me.

We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A fucking clock.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Dave Allen (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.