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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

— Robert Benchley With Truth as Our Sword (2005)

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More quotes by Robert Benchley

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom‎ (1958)

The English language may hold a more disagreeable combination of words than "The doctor will see you now."

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn’t make any sense if quoted as it stands.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Robert Benchley (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.