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By insisting on having your bottle pointing to the north when the cork is being drawn, and calling the waiter Max, you may induce an impression on your guests which hours of laboured boasting might be powerless to achieve. For this purpose, however, the guests must be chosen as carefully as the wine.

— Saki The Chronicles of Clovis (1911)

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More quotes by Saki

Think how many blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people.

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Women and elephants never forget an injury.

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People talk vaguely about the innocence of a little child, but they take mighty good care not to let it out of their sight for twenty minutes.

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It is an admitted fact that the ordinary tomtit of commerce has a sounder aesthetic taste than the average female relative in the country.

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The revenge of an elder sister may be long in coming, but, like a South-Eastern express, it arrives in its own good time.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Saki (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.