It [Texas] is very considerably smaller than Australia and British Somaliland put together. As things stand at present there is nothing much the Texans can do about this, and I noticed that they are inclined to shy away from the subject in ordinary conversation, muttering defensively about the size of oranges.
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Source, in full
"The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You", in Punch (5 November 1958), p. 603. Collected in By Rocking-chair Across America (New York: Funk & Wagnalls, 1959). Also in Alan Coren, ed., Present Laughter: A Personal Anthology of Modern Humour (London: Robson Books, 1982)