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Well as the vanquished charwoman of time begins to Shake-n-Vac the shagpile of eternity, I've noticed that we've just run out of time...

— Humphrey Lyttelton

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More quotes by Humphrey Lyttelton

Now it's time to play a brand new game called Name That Barcode. Here's the first one: "Thick black, thin white, thick black, thick white, thick black, thin white." OK who's going to identify that?

After tasting the meat pies, Samantha said she liked Mr Dewhurst’s beef in ale; although she preferred his tongue in cider.

Coincidence is a wonderful thing.

An interviewer had researched Lyttelton's other interests and asked him about "orthinology" (sic). Lyttelton said that he kept a straight face and answered the question but 24 hours later thought of what he should have replied: "Oh, you mean word-botching".

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Humphrey Lyttelton (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.