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[T]he cold consommé was hot and half-melted, the liver came straight out of a synthetic-testing lab, and the whipped cream on the strawberry shortcake was purest Rise. The strawberries were made of genuine artificial coloring.

— Robert Ruark Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

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More quotes by Robert Ruark

In the food department, practically nothing remains constant except catsup.

Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

A man can build a staunch reputation for honesty by admitting he was in error, especially when he gets caught at it.

Time just seems to fly away for a boy. That, I s’pose, is why one day you wake up suddenly and you ain’t a boy any longer.

The Old Man and the Boy (1957)

Bread is aerated sawdust, painted ghostly white. It owns all the nutriment of a breath of its principal ingredient, air.

Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

Restaurants? You stumble by accident, in search of a beer and а sammidge, into some dive and run onto the damnedest cuisine since the first cannibal discovered a recipe for braised missionary.

Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Robert Ruark (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.