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You need to show him some paper, otherwise he won't believe that you exist.

— Ilf and Petrov Ilya Ilf's notebooks (1925)

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More quotes by Ilf and Petrov

All talented people write differently, all untalented ones write the same way and even in the same handwriting.

Ilya Ilf's notebooks (1925)

Not a single car has ever been run over by a pedestrian, yet for some reason motorists are unhappy.

Ilya Ilf's notebooks (1925)

He got so drunk that he could already perform various minor miracles.

Ilya Ilf's notebooks (1925)

What? Seventy thousand roubles' worth of jewellery hidden in a chair! Heaven knows who may sit on that chair!

The Twelwe Chairs (1927)

In science fiction novels, the main thing was the radio. With it, the happiness of mankind was expected. Now there is a radio, but there is no happiness.

Ilya Ilf's notebooks (1925)

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Ilf and Petrov (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.