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You're welcome to take a bath. You look like the second week of the garbage strike.

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More quotes by Neil Simon

If you can go through life without ever experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet. And if you've gone through pain and think you know exactly why, you haven't examined all the options.

A writer without confidence is like a metaphor without something to compare itself to.

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Neil Simon (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.