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Only choice between the brand-spankers and the reconverts is to live in the suburbs, and that means trains. Oy vay.
Trains. The trouble with train people is that they think they are still living in an early Harriman era. They think they are still in the railroad business.

— Robert Ruark Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

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More quotes by Robert Ruark

In the food department, practically nothing remains constant except catsup.

Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

A man can build a staunch reputation for honesty by admitting he was in error, especially when he gets caught at it.

Time just seems to fly away for a boy. That, I s’pose, is why one day you wake up suddenly and you ain’t a boy any longer.

The Old Man and the Boy (1957)

Bread is aerated sawdust, painted ghostly white. It owns all the nutriment of a breath of its principal ingredient, air.

Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

Restaurants? You stumble by accident, in search of a beer and а sammidge, into some dive and run onto the damnedest cuisine since the first cannibal discovered a recipe for braised missionary.

Nothing Works and Nobody Cares (1965)

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Robert Ruark (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.