Now, I'm not the only language designer with irrationalities. You can think of some languages to go with some of these things.

"English phrases" - Well, that's Cobol. You know, cargo cult English. (laughter) | "Text processing doesn't matter much" - Fortran. | "Simple languages produce simple solutions" - C. | "If I wanted it fast, I'd write it in C" - That's almost a direct quote from the original awk page. | "I thought of a way to do it so it must be right" - That's obviously PHP. (laughter and applause) | "You can build anything with NAND gates" - Any language designed by an electrical engineer. (laughter) | "This is a very high level language, who cares about bits?" - The entire scope of fourth generation languages fell into this... problem. | "Users care about elegance" - A lot of languages from Europe tend to fall into this. You know, Eiffel. | "The specification is good enough" - Ada. | "Abstraction equals usability" - Scheme. Things like that. | "The common kernel should be as small as possible" - Forth. | "Let's make this easy for the computer" - Lisp. (laughter) | "Most programs are designed top-down" - Pascal. (laughter) | "Everything is a vector" - APL. | "Everything is an object" - Smalltalk and its children. (whispered:) Ruby. (laughter) | "Everything is a hypothesis" - Prolog. (laughter) | "Everything is a function" - Haskell. (laughter) | "Programmers should never have been given free will" - Obviously, Python. (laughter).