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It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,
That all sin is divided into two parts.
One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important
And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you oughtn't...

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More quotes by Ogden Nash

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Candy
Is Dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

We love the kindly wind and hail,
The jolly thunderbolt,
We watch in glee the fairy trail
Of ampere, watt, and volt.

Many Long Years Ago (1945)

Man is a victim of dope
In the incurable form of hope.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Ogden Nash (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.