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Motherhood is never honored by excessive talk about the heroics of pregnancy.

— Leonard Feeney

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Source: "A Madonna of the Kitchen", Fish on Friday, and Other Sketches (1934), p. 48
Source quality: Precise citation Points to a specific work with a page, chapter, date or similar locator, so you can look it up.

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Do you know a good way to convince ladies who adore he-men that you are a he-man and not a sissy? Raise a challenging mustache, write a humorless book full of unabridged hells and damns and kindred phrases in the field of sex, and then come out blatantly in favor of the Loyalists' cause in Spain.

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People who believe in little laugh at little.

The only thing worse than him on the radio is all static.

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They put a hood upon his head
And bound it with a thong.
Then—England lost a ball of lead
And Ireland lost a song.

It is hard to believe that he chops nearly as much wood as he pretends to, or that cows, hens, and barnyards are his chief loves. He has been known to enjoy the tea life of social England and is at present a professor of poetry in a college.

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The other day it was reported in the newspaper that a Maine hen had won a prize for having hatched nearly 200 pullets in the course of a single year. Now what ought the faithful youngster to remark on hearing that? He ought to remark that the hen deserved the Pulletser Prize.

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Attribution

Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Leonard Feeney (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.