The idea that the Biblical stories are symbolic is charitable to the point of absurdity. What would we think of a university professor who, happening upon unambiguous errors in a favourite student’s work, concluded that the student was speaking symbolically and awarded top marks?

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Steve Stewart-Williams (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.