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HEMP, n. A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.

— Ambrose Bierce The Cynic's Dictionary (1906)

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More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.

An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.

What I Saw At Shiloh (1881)

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

O proud philanthropist, your hope is vain
To get by giving what you lost by gain.

When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.

All Ambrose Bierce quotes →

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Ambrose Bierce (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.