The Lord sent a world-class whopper of a massacre to Virginia Tech, killing thirty-three, drawing headlines like 'Shocked!', 'Horrified!', 'The worst massacre in US history!'. Well, we wish you were thirty-three thousand killed, but we are thankful to our Father for thirty-three.

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Quote text and notes from Wikiquote: Fred Phelps (page history), available under CC BY-SA 4.0. Source quality and labels are our own summary of what Wikiquote records.